Dangerously cheesy
Jul 20, 2005 life
Just read this…
I was eating a bag of Cheetos the other day, when I noticed the claim that they are “dangerously cheesy.” I chewed carefully, trying to figure out exactly what was so dangerous about the cheese flavor. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried a 2002 French-aged Roquefort, but that’s some dangerous cheese flavor. That cheese tastes like it was ripened in the asscrack of a mule.
I made the following prank call to Frito-Lay to try to clarify what they meant.
FRITO-LAY: Thank you for calling Frito-Lay, this is Alice. How may I help you?
JOHN HARGRAVE: Hi. I was eating a bag of your Puffed Cheetos the other day, and I noticed that you say they are “dangerously cheesy.”
FL: Uh-huh.
JH: I have a six-year-old daughter, and I’m worried about her eating something dangerous.
FL: [Chuckle] That’s, uh, that’s an advertisement. Our marketing department thought it was catchy. Cheetos are not threatening, or dangerous, at all.
JH: Do they contain shards of glass?
FL: No. By “dangerously cheesy,” we just mean they are very cheesy.
JH: Do Cheetos cause cancer?
FL: No. Rest assured, you have nothing to worry about.
JH: Will they explode in your mouth?
FL: No.
JH: So they don’t explode with cheesy flavor?
FL: [Pause] Is there anything else I can help you with today? Read the rest of this entry »